Small Steps, Big Impact: How to Start Building Community Today

Building connections in your community doesn’t have to mean that you have to jump into hosting a neighbourhood party or launching a community project overnight. Sometimes, it starts with something as simple as saying hello to your neighbour or offering to share a spare courgette (if you stick with me you are likely to have more than you can shake a stick at come July!).

The truth is, small steps lead to big changes, and building a strong, supportive community isn’t just for extroverts or the overly ambitious. It’s for anyone who wants to feel a little less alone and a lot more connected. It’s one of the tools I use on the croft not only to make sure that I feel less alone but to help build resilience into my life - after all, when the Sh*t hits the fan the best way through is to have a great support system.

In fact - just in case you need more persuasion! Women who have a strong and engaged community around them live longer and live that life healthier and more mentally fit .. so I am all for taking it small and starting to build strong bonds in my community for the future.

Simple - right?

Well, people approach approachable people!

Do you look approachable?

Some of this is just Stagecraft (remember my theatre background). Walk tall, lift your eyes, take up space as you move around town, make eye contact, and smile!

Sure - people may not talk to you the first time you are out and about - but the tenth, fiftieth, or hundredth time you have these happy, non-grumpy reactions it is much easier to strike up a pleasant conversation about something pretty neutral.

So don’t overthink this - just start with a smile and take it from there.

Selfish people are HARD to be around, aren’t they? I have some in my family and they are “high maintenance” to be sure!

They focus only on the “ME” - life can only happen in relation to what they get out of it. They are inevitably lonely people because when everything is transactional there is no place for friendship and loving interactions.

I prefer to focus on the “WE” - sharing what I have with those who need it when they need it so that we can all walk through life together, connected and supported.

Even in months where we have been scraping along the bottom of the barrel together, we can share - moments of friendship, stories of inspiration, daft selfies with our kids, a precious cup of tea and time to really listen to that person without judgment or shame.

There is so much abundance in my crofting lifestyle that it spills over into so many other areas of my life - and I am all the better for that!

So start to share in little ways - soften your heart and let others in to walk with you in this season of friendship and abundance too!

Now - don’t hear what I am not saying! I am NOT saying you should be the neighbourhood snitch. No one likes the “curtain-twitcher” - right?

What we do love is the neighbours who keep an eye on others - checking for milk piling up or parcels uncollected on doorsteps. For a once-manicured lawn getting straggly and unkempt. for a regular dog walker to disappear from their favoured routine.

When someone in your neighbourhood has an event that throws them off their tracks - its Ok to knock and check that all is OK.

I’ve found a neighbour who couldn’t get down to lift her milk anymore because her hip was too sore (popped a stool at her door with a container for the milkman to leave it in .. problem solved).

I’ve offered to take in parcels for a young mum trying to launch a new candle business whilst working full-time and was never around to receive her supplies (A quick sign at her door means that the delivery guys know to pop it over to me).

I’ve hooked up local teens with blokes recovering from knee surgery so that their pride and joy of a lawn ( I know - I don’t get it either it must be a man thing) is kept spick and span until he can do it again. The neighbour reciprocated by taking the teen out in the car for practice when he got his provisional licence.

I have walked dogs - so many dogs! Dogs whose parents have had Covid, or the Flu or have to work overtime, or are caring for an elderly parent. Not only are Dogs cool - but just like when I used to push a pram, people will come and talk to you if you have a dog at your heel in a way they don’t ever do when you are on your own.

If you are just a little bit “nosy” and are looking to help - there are so many ways to connect.

Joining in is scary - I get it!

The thought of joining a local club, or church, or choir or litter picking team can give you such anxiety it’s unreal.

So give yourself an out - don’t sign up for a 12 week run of classes … go to a taster session! Don’t jump in and agree to Stage Manage the Am Drams latest production of “Kiss Me Kate” before you have socialised with the cast and found out if they are your people. Don’t go start a “Make my Town Beautiful” Group without finding out whether litter picking with a friend is really for you (It is for me - some of the best advice I have ever received has been when working alongside someone for just an hour in a local village).

It’s OK to be anxious about joining in - after all, we all want to be accepted. But hey - you are not some dragon with three heads and a tail, just a normal grown-ass adult hoping to make conversation with another (probably just as anxious) one.

Join in - but start small!

Community is something you do!

It’s connections - strong and weak that are woven over weeks, months, and years of being part of people’s lives however loosely.

Its build from hundreds of “Hello’s” and thousands of nods.

Its the glue that sticks us all together and that glue is built up layer upon layer.

So how to start .. well right back at the beginning ..

Start with a SMILE!

Let me know what you plan to do this week to start building the bonds in your community - after all, this can be your community too! X